Many of the thoughts we have every day are negative and that has a very detrimental effect on our emotions and mental well-being. A simple exercise to prove it. Rescue a negative memory from your memory and play it back several times. What do you feel bad about? Now, look back on a happy episode and you will see how a smile ends up appearing on your face.
What negative thought do you identify with?
- You belittle yourself. "I'm useless."
- The eternal culprit. "My mother is angry, it sure is because of me."
- You read the thought. "My boss - or partner or … - thinks I'm doing everything wrong."
- You guess the future. "It sure is going to go wrong."
- You always generalize. "My partner has broken up with me, no one will ever love me."
- You lack self-esteem. "This recipe works out pretty well for me, but it's very easy."
- The drama queen. "Today is the worst day of my life, I can't bear it."
- Excessive demand. "I feel terrible, but I have to go to work."
- Without seeing anything positive. "I have failed".
Negative thoughts: techniques to combat them
The psychologist Ciara Molina, author of the book Expressed Emotions, Exceeded Emotions , has explained some of the techniques that we can use to block toxic thoughts as they appear in our minds. Just keep a couple and try to put them into practice the next time negativity knocks on your door.
1. Block thinking
The psychologist Ciara Molina proposes an exercise that trains our mind to block toxic thoughts. When you are thinking about something that causes you anxiety or sadness and the negative emotion begins to take over you, look up to the left, without moving your head, as if you were looking up. What happened? Surely you have forgotten the negative thought because the simple eye movement favors emotional change and thus releases anxiety.
2. Project relativizing
Imagine that you are in the middle of a negative thinking loop. For example, you are replaying over and over a little verbal misunderstanding with a friend that you had a couple of days ago. Now ask yourself, how much will this issue matter to you in 5 days? And in 5 months? And in 5 years? Will you even remember? There you have it.
3. Find a distraction
Not because this technique is simple, it is no longer effective in combating toxic or negative thoughts. What distracts you and makes you disconnect? Read your favorite website, play something on your mobile or file your nails … Anything goes. You could even create an album on your mobile with photos of moments that make you happy: your family, pets, vacations … When negativity knocks on your door, look at your particular oasis of happiness!
4. Practice gratitude
It may sound corny to you, but we often forget all the good things that happen to us. One way to exercise positive thinking is, at the end of the day, to acknowledge three good things that have happened to you. You can write them down daily in a notebook.
5. Conscious breathing
The psychologist Ciara Molina proposes another technique: conscious breathing. Sit straight but comfortable. Pick a point on your body, for example, an earlobe. For 10 minutes, focus your attention there, noting the times when you inhale and exhale. When you focus your attention so deeply, you block out any negative thoughts that may appear in your mind.
6. Tell someone
If the negative thinking spiral is getting out of hand, tell a trusted friend about it. You will see how it helps you to relativize and you do not end up seeing it as important.
7. Do you know mindfulness?
Mindfulness techniques, also known as mindfulness, help manage toxic thoughts. When one arrives, watch it for a few seconds and then try to let it go. Here are 15 super easy mindfulness exercises to do.
8. Have some tea, help!
Your ritual. Focusing on a simple and mechanical activity can help you disconnect for a few minutes and fill you with well-being. You can also paint a small mandala or listen to a song that puts you in a good mood.
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