It's psychological abuse
It's psychological abuse
Have you felt that in a relationship they told you too many times: "you are crazy", "that has not happened" or "you always exaggerate"? Perhaps you are being a victim of gaslighting or gas lighting.
Frame of Game of Thrones
What is it that they make you gas light?
What is it that they make you gas light?
It is a form of psychological abuse that is based on making the victim doubt their senses, their reason, their memory, their perception and even their sanity, explains the psychologist Ciara Molina, author of the book Expressed emotions, overcome emotions .
Still from A Streetcar Named Desire
Where does it occur?
Where does it occur?
The most common is that it appears in relationships where there is a strong emotional bond: family, partner or close friends. There are a number of warning signs that you should know to detect if you are being a victim of gaslighting.
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"That has not happened"
"That has not happened"
The stalker or stalker manipulates reality in order to drive the victim crazy. For example: denying that there was a conversation or remembering a situation very differently from how it occurred.
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"It is that you do not realize"
"It is that you do not realize"
This occurs when they make the victim believe that their senses are deceiving them or do not let them see reality as it is. For example: the harasser tries to convince that a friend has said something with double intention, or that the victim does not realize someone's evil …
Still from Last Tango in Paris
"Your friends criticize you"
"Your friends criticize you"
The stalker wants to have maximum control of the victim's life, so he will try, little by little and without his realizing it, to limit or cancel his social life. The tools? Make believe that they do not accept it or that they judge it. Then get the victim to just trust him or her.
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"You are not right in the head"
"You are not right in the head"
All these behaviors end up undermining the victim's self-esteem and they come to doubt their own sanity. It is common for the stalker to take advantage of the crisis to say that he / she has gone crazy.
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It's very subtle
It's very subtle
As you can see, the warning signs are based on nuances, so it is difficult to detect if you are being subjected to this type of psychological abuse and, therefore, to prove it legally. The most common is that the victim ends up presenting a picture of anxiety, depression, panic attacks or obsessive disorders. Keep reading the text below to find out how to deal with this situation.
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There is a little-known form of psychological abuse called gaslighting. The name is rare, but you will see that it is not as rare as it might seem. It consists of the stalker trying to manipulate the victim by making her doubt her perception, her memory and even her sanity. It occurs in very close relationships such as that of a partner, family or close friends.
The stalker is fully aware of what he is doing, his goal is to annul the other person, so a relationship should never continue under these terms. This abuse goes far beyond a toxic relationship, in which sometimes there is no intention to harm, but misguided insecurities. It is important to be clear: if they make you gas light or gaslighting they want to hurt you and they do not respect you. You have to intervene in some way.
What can I do if I am a victim of gaslighting or gas lighting?
The first step is to realize it and share it with someone. It can help to put everything they say or do to you in writing so that you can later tell it without hesitation. It is also helpful to write a story from the beginning of the relationship, to be clear about the story. It is common for the environment to try to downplay what is happening, and trying to explain everything at once can be confusing.
If you are being a victim of this form of abuse, we recommend that you go to a professional, but these would be some quick guidelines for action:
- Explain what is happening to you to trusted family members or friends so they can help you see that you are not going crazy.
- Put distance between the bully and you. In this way you can become aware of what is happening and verbalize it.
- Work on your empowerment and self-esteem to be able to disassociate yourself from the harasser.
Article advised by Ciara Molina, psychologist and author of the book Expressed emotions, overcome emotions .
Cover photo: Big Little Lies
