1. It hurts you, but it's for your good
No way. Toxic people are very adept at alternately sweetening and bitter. They use affection and exaggerated praise, favors, support, to win us over. That confidence they get by showing themselves as the best companions causes us to open ourselves to them and to know our fears and hurts.
Over time, they use them as a weapon. But because we have a past of "good times shared," we endure and forgive.
Who loves you well … No, if he loves you, he won't make you cry. And if it does, it is toxic. Because toxic people harm you "with all the love", telling you that it is "to help you", "for your good", but of course they do not have a constructive purpose.
For your sake no one makes you cry. If someone loves you, they can give you advice but not hurt you
2. Today you are everything, tomorrow he doesn't even call you
Or the classic "Today I treat you like a queen and lastly I do a trick on you", "Today I call you 30 times a day and next week I will disappear for no reason" … That being and not being hooks us because it becomes almost a competition with ourselves to be liked or accepted.
When they treat us like this, we also try to understand when we have not been enough. We spend a lot of mental energy trying to please the one who treats us like this, to understand why today he does not love us, if yesterday it was impossible to live without us. What did we do wrong? Remember, nothing. The problem is not you.
3. He constantly makes a fool of you
It is also typical that toxic people are jokers, funny at the expense of others. They like to expose errors, defects and uncover uncomfortable situations of others with the excuse that "it is a joke".
Who could be bothered by those comments if they have made everyone laugh so much? And whoever gets upset is nothing more than a bitter person who does not know how to take life lightly, see how funny it is. This mechanism has endowed them with an image of carefree people who believe they have a license to hurt. And that without anyone being able to stop them for not ruining the party.
They like to expose mistakes, defects and uncover uncomfortable situations
4. Gossip and lie
It's not just school gossip, although toxic people dress it up as it, because they make it look like a simple comment without malice. They can intrigue with serious matters that can hurt a person or misrepresent the relationships of a group. They don't measure how far they can hurt.
On the other hand, they often make up excuses when they are caught in situations that betray your trust. They can weave extremely complex networks to make everything seem credible. In the end, you know they lied but you have a hard time blaming them.
5. Blackmails you, manipulates you and you… feel guilty
It is clear that he has hurt you, but he always has a good pretext and almost always manipulates you so that you feel guilty. Perhaps that toxic person was pushing you little by little to do something you did not want, but who sold you as the best for you and you have swallowed it.
Toxic manipulators and blackmailers are lovers of creating the perfect environment to sow conflicts between you and third parties; and then wash your hands. And they know how to turn others against those who are not present or who need to leave their environment because they have discovered them.
For them, information is vital, so they inquire with false concern about your personal life. Until one day you tell him your most intimate secrets. So, he has you in his hands. You can no longer turn against him because you have told him something very intimate that you do not want him to divulge.
They inquire with false concern about your personal life so that you tell them your secrets
6. She is jealous and envious
Here we are not talking about celillos, but about real reasons to be alarmed. Or full-blown envy. It may happen that that toxic person envies a certain achievement that you have achieved. Despite this, they will congratulate you profusely, but at the same time it will start to undermine your success.
For example, it will start to plant negative ideas in your mind about how things can turn out. It will make you think that maybe you didn't do so well or that it was just luck. It will try to "protect" you from failure, while it is pushing you to it.
7. She is a victim, to be saved
We think that self-centeredness is only of those who have a high concept, but … there is a lot of ego in whom, on the contrary, is always installed in the tragedy. Everything has happened to her, her ills no one overcomes them, she becomes ill, saddens, is unemployed, her partner has left her. Everything. And with it they catch people who need to help others, rescue them, to feel better about themselves.
His poison is in blaming you if you don't support or pity him. Always choose key moments, such as Christmas or a wedding. He likes to ruin moments in which the situation or other people are the protagonists to draw attention to his conflict.
They like to ruin situations in which they are not the protagonists
8. Force them to put up with their screaming and bad temper
Due to his social, family or hierarchical position, he believes he has the right to mistreat, yell or be angry while the rest have no choice but to shut up or play crazy until it passes. And suddenly, he's in a good mood again and expects others to treat him as if nothing had happened.
Depending on the degree of codependency and mental kidnapping of its “victims”, the degree of violence increases. There can be blows and, over time, even more extreme situations. Whoever endures this situation knows that the relationship is not good, but does not know (or does not dare) to ask for help to get out of there.
You may have identified people in your environment with these traits. In this case, you should take note of this post where we tell you how to stop a toxic person.
By Elsy Reyes
