When we were little they told us that we should love and accept everyone as they are, especially family. It is a valuable teaching, but with a catch, how far do you have to endure when that person hurts you?
Luckily, many times we manage to get rid of those who hurt us and say that of "no more toxic people", but we are not always able to identify them and we can fall again. Here we give you the 8 keys to recognize a toxic person and in the post that you have below, we will tell you how to stop these types of individuals.
It is not an isolated event, it always does
Put the brakes on it if you find that this is constant, repetitive behavior. Evaluate to what extent it is affecting you, if it hurts you, if it makes you lose your esteem in yourself, if it takes away your peace …
How to act
If it is someone who is not very close, you can avoid them or try to coincide as little as possible, just say hello and do not enter their game. But when that toxic person is your direct boss, your partner, your parents and even one of your children, the story is another. And you have to take action.
Get away, don't try to change
With time, and especially with the mental space of being emotionally and physically distant from that toxic person, you will understand a lot about yourself. Free yourself from the need to compete, understand, control or change anyone. It's not your job. The only one you can save is you.
What do you have to do if you can't avoid him
- Find out why. Individualize the reason why you have fallen into a relationship with that person who hurts you. You may need help to see it. Take your share of the blame. Something in you has made it possible for you to "fit in" with that person. Understand and assume it to be able to overcome it.
- It is not in your life by mistake. Each one has the partner, the friends, the colleagues that they think they deserve. And we are all mutual teachers. Identify a toxic person and shake them off.
- Turn the page. Thank those who have given you those lessons and learn to let them go. You know the lesson is over, or do you need more poison?
- Get away from its toxic cloud. Sometimes it is to stop listening to her or ask her to save her comments, or to stop rescuing her. Others, you have to put physical distance.
- Be true to your decision. Your NO is NO. Avoid wavering if you have made the decision because it is a fact that it is poisoning your life. Be strong.
- Adapt to change. What hurts us the most is losing the routine that included that person (the coffee chat, etc.). Redesign how you invest your time and don't give it more laps.
By Elsy Reyes
