@mariapombo
Although we have been living as a couple for years, quarantine can be a real challenge for our relationship if we do not know how to face it. But, rest assured, there is no evil that lasts a hundred years or a body that resists it and it is up to us to turn it into a nightmare or an experience to add to our lives and to get the most out of it. First advice: Mentalize yourself, if we have to do it let's do it well, and let's do it together.
Have no doubts, these days we will go through different stages –I'm sure you've already gone through more than one–, high moments and low moments, and our partner too. For this reason, and as always it is better to be safe than sorry, much better to organize and above all to have the courage to live the situation with optimism and tranquility .
But, in addition, we can also implement some tips to make this confinement at home a super beneficial time that makes us invincible as people and as a couple. And, yes, it is in your hand. You can get it too! Do you need tips and ideas? Take note.
Plans and entertainment (together and separately)
- Start watching a new series together and if it can be long, the better.
In addition to not thinking about anything for a long time, there is no more fun plan as a couple than to 'bite' a series together and have a good episode marathon on the couch. The most interesting thing about this, in addition to the entertainment, is that it is a common motivation that will keep you connected and with the illusion that the time comes to sit down together. One cannot advance in the series without the other, so you both have to like it and it is NOT worth falling asleep!
- Plan a trip or something that excites you both.
No rush, there is time. A good way to make confinement useful is to take advantage of the time it is giving us to plan and plan. Thus, when everything returns to normal and stress takes over our lives again, everything will be more organized and the 'work' ahead. To make it a matter of two and keep your spirit happy and motivated, why not start a project together? It can be a trip, the new decoration of your house or, why not, a wedding!
- Plan meals to suit the two of you and cook.
Take some time a day to plan the next day's menu. The best way for a team to function is for everyone to feel important within it, and in a couple it is no different . To give importance to the other is to ask them what they want to eat or, even cooler, that you cook together. Organizing and having ideas in common and in which you both agree is a good way not to accumulate disagreements that can explode at some point.
- Play sports together.
The quarantine and confinement for the coronavirus has unleashed the craze for all kinds of workouts and home workouts. It can be a completely new activity for your partner to train together. In addition to getting in shape, you will keep endorphins well up, in addition to increasing common motivation and gaining complicity. Take it seriously and in the summer you will be the 'Elsa Pataky and Chris Hemsworth' on the beach.
- Set schedules with time to work and also to do things separately.
So that there are no frustrations or negative thoughts towards the other type 'he prefers to do this alone instead of doing it with me' or, on the contrary, 'he does not leave me calm @ neither in the sun nor in the shade' the best thing is to plan the day, although then improvise something, which is also fun. Basically it is to organize as much as possible the times, the time of our work or to have more or less decided what time we will train, but also to reserve a moment to read, wash up, talk with our families or browse Instagram alone and 'on our ball' for a while. Give us space. Everything is important and EVERYTHING adds up.
Tips to avoid conflict
- Empathize with the other, don't be a 'drama queen'.
Let's be aware of the situation and that, although we are a couple and live in company, in the end we are unique and independent beings with their feelings, their frustrations, their tastes, their lows and highs. Let's not try to drag the other to how we want them to be and respect their spaces and times , and also ours. All the plans from before are great but if one day does not feel like training or watching 'The Mandalorian' let's not go into crisis. Nothing happens. Tomorrow will be another day, and it may be your turn.
- Butt sex life.
Do not be carried away by laziness or that seeing each other for so many hours a day takes away the courage to be intimate and get a little closer. Sex and good communication is key to maintaining the health of the couple and that everything is balanced. Do to keep the flame and that the desire does not go out.
- Don't assume how it feels.
Life in isolation will make us go through different emotional moments. If you want to feel understood in your different phases and understand the other, you have to talk and communicate, never take anything for granted or get upset if you expect a reaction without the other knowing how you are, nor put thoughts that are in yours in their head . It is your partner, not the genie in the lamp. Respecting the space is key and the best advice to survive the quarantine as a couple.
- Treat yourself with kindness.
This is something that seems basic but that we do not always carry out. The golden rule is: treat the other as you like to be treated. Being kind to the other should be something to put in place in our partner forever and not just in quarantine. It really would save us a lot of problems and silly conflicts that are deteriorating our relationship. But especially in these moments think about whether it is really worth it and make the other feel good.
