How to raise self-esteem in 12 steps

Goal: high self-esteem

People with high self-esteem are able to know and accept their shortcomings because, overall, they have a good image of themselves. They know that we are all flawed and vulnerable. The question is, can you train to raise your self-esteem?

This plan to raise self-esteem is made up of small steps that you can put into practice every day so that your security is strengthened.

Talk about yourself positively

Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. You would never say that she is useless or that she is very fat. Always talk about yourself with respect, as if you are your best friend.

Write your concerns

Make a list of the issues that weigh you down. Self-esteem isn't just about your physique. How many of your concerns are really important? And if they are, accept that not everything can be perfect. Seek help, explain them to someone you trust. Self-esteem can be achieved without perfection, because it is something that does not exist.

Make changes (if you need them)

High self-esteem does not mean saying yes to everything without reservation. You may have reasons to change something about your physique — obesity, for example — or you may need to resolve a conflict: sever your relationship with a toxic friend. Lay the (sensible) foundations of what you want to achieve to be better and do it.

Look in a mirror…

… and accept what you see. Study your features, smile and massage what you don't like. The caress of the massage can help you change the perception of your body for the better. Try to do it once a week and you will see your self-esteem rise.

Accept compliments

The brownie has been fantastic! Uy, it is very easy … does it sound familiar? Don't downplay yourself. If you don't know what to say, just say thank you.

Upright posture

A study from the University of Ohio (USA) has shown that posture influences how we feel and how we are seen. If we are hunched over, we feel downcast; In contrast, when we stand upright we improve the way we think about ourselves.

Accept the past

Are you still going around events of the past? Learn from the fears that your decisions have brought, but do not think about it any more. The negative emotions that come with holding on to the past are the basis for low self-esteem. Again, it may help to write it down.

Say no

Saying no is the barrier that helps protect our identity. It is very easy to fall into the trap of putting the interests of others before our own. If they bring you something that you don't have an immediate decision about, ask for 10 minutes to think about it.

Goodbye, toxic relationships

You deserve the best, so break the emotional bonds with people who suffocate you with their demands, criticism and negativity. They don't give you anything. Bet on positive relationships. Here we explain how to identify a toxic person.

Get out of your comfort zone

Changes are dizzying, but good self-esteem is made up of adaptability. To put it into practice, think each week of 3 things that you have trouble doing and try to do them. For example:

Tell a friend that you don't feel like meeting that week because you're tired
Be proactive in your work (participate in a meeting, propose improvements, talk to your boss…)
Go to the movies alone

Don't try to please

It is an impossible mission. If you invest your time and energy in liking everyone, you will fail and you will also feel bad.

Resolve pending conflicts

It is normal for misunderstandings and small conflicts to happen in life. The important thing is not to let them become encyst and become a drag that will not let us advance and will undermine our self-esteem. To solve them, ask for forgiveness or put yourself in the shoes of the other.

The French psychiatrist Christophe André, author of books such as Self-esteem: liking yourself to better live with others , defines self-esteem as what we think about ourselves, how we feel about those feelings and how we apply all of this to our lives . Raising self-esteem is very important because it is the starting point of almost any behavior in our day to day life.

Self-esteem not only applies to the security we have about our body, but also to how we function emotionally. Do you tend to doubt your opinions? Did you end up saying yes to everything? Are you too helpful? These are usually signs of low self-esteem.

"I don't know the key to success but the key to failure is trying to please everyone" Woody Allen

The good news is that self-esteem can be trained to improve our general well-being. A high self-esteem will provide us with peace of mind with ourselves. In the gallery above we propose 12 steps so that you can gradually work on your self-esteem.

Plan to raise self-esteem

Look in a mirror and accept yourself
Accept compliments
Talk about yourself positively
Maintain an upright posture
Write your concerns
Embrace the past and get over it
Make the changes you need
Get out of your comfort zone
Learn to say no
Get rid of toxic relationships

"Wanting to be someone else is wasting the person you are" Marilyn Monroe

Behaviors that lower your self-esteem

Adapt to everything. Being flexible doesn't have to mean giving up your purposes

Think negative. Negative thoughts provoke negative emotions. If we think that everything we do is going to go wrong, we are not going to try.

To criticize. If we speak ill of others, we will end up applying that same filter to ourselves. In addition, criticizing denotes little self-confidence.

Being too touchy. If you feel frequently attacked by others, you probably have the problem. The world does not conspire against you.

Suppress your emotions. Expressing what we feel helps us to feel liberated and to minimize problems.

Being too demanding. Neither we nor others can be perfect, so being too demanding is an endless source of frustration.

Keys to strengthen your self-esteem

Think about your fears. What are you afraid of? When you doubt your physique or your abilities, what are you really afraid of? To criticism? To fail? Knowing yourself is the first step to overcome it.

Watch yourself. Surely in certain situations you always act the same, do you know how to recognize behavior patterns and what emotions are generated? Identifying them can help you overcome them.

Do not fear the new. Overcoming small challenges is the best way little by little to raise your self-esteem and feel more and more sure of yourself.

Be positive. Flee from the extremes type always or never. Be kind to yourself and to others. And be clear that failure is never an absolute, you will always have learned something new.

Live in the present. Do not stay anchored in the negative emotions of the past and do not anticipate the future.

Do not interpret. You are not on the minds of others so you cannot guess what they think of you. Also, isn't it suspicious that everyone has bad opinions about you?

Dramatize. A sense of humor and sharing your fears with someone you trust are the best weapons to remove iron from problems or, in the worst case, find solutions.