12 Phrases You Should Not Say To Someone With Breast Cancer

Depends on the day

If you say it one day that the person with cancer is feeling optimistic and positive, fine. You are reinforcing their attitude. But if you say it when they are down and discouraged, hearing this phrase can mean that the other person feels like they have "an obligation" to overcome, to make an extra effort to come back. If you don't know what to say, just a hug and a serene smile.

Rhetorical phrase par excellence

"You know, if you need anything" … It is a generality and an offer that remains in the air. Much better to make specific offers such as "If you go to treatment in the afternoon, count on me, I do an intensive day and I can accompany you" or "If you feel bad, I can pick up the children from school or bring you some tuppers."

Good wishes

It is appreciated that the other person thinks about the speedy recovery of the patient. But this phrase may convey that the disease is not being taken seriously as it should be. Even after treatment is finished and the prevention protocol has been followed, no oncologist guarantees 100% that the cancer will not recur. Remember that words are sometimes unnecessary, with a little affection everything is said.

Known cases

It is normal for everyone to know someone who has been through this situation, but there is no need to make comparisons. And much less if the case that you know has had a fatal outcome. "A friend of my brother also had breast cancer and died, but I'm sure you get over it." Ufff! Better keep this information to yourself.

Tips on habits

Certain nutritional advice can be counterproductive, because it can interfere with the medication the patient is taking. Ditching sugar as much as possible and eating healthy, as well as doing moderate exercise, are healthy habits that benefit everyone. But it is better that the prescriptions are made by the oncologist or a nutritionist who is an expert in this subject.

Inappropriate flattery

Inopportune flattery

You try to pay a compliment, but maybe that person with cancer is trying too hard not to show how sick she is … and she puts on makeup or puts on a wig to appear "normal", even though she feels physically ill.

Metaphysical Comments

From this phrase it could be deduced that the person who is going through cancer "needed" this experience to mature or learn something, a life lesson. Not everyone has a religious or spiritual conception of life.

Curiosity

Depending on the woman and the relationship you have with her, she can answer you without problems and give you details. But the vast majority do not feel like remembering it and are overwhelmed by moving again to the moment when they received the bad news.

Appearances

For most people our image is important and seeing yourself without hair can be a shock. But when you have been found cancer, what matters most to you is surviving in the first place. All cancer patients do not lose their hair, it depends on the treatment. And, in any case, it can be concealed - if so desired - while it grows back.

The attitude

A good predisposition helps … a lot. In most cases, those who experience breast cancer want to face the situation with optimism. But the disease goes through many stages and it is legal for the person to also go through different states of mind. Always "forcing" a smile so as not to worry those around them is exhausting.

Spiritual support

It can be comforting if that person is religious. But maybe she has more faith in science and research than in a divine force. Also, hearing this can give you the feeling of being hopeless, that your case is more serious than it really is.

Maternity

Motherhood is an aspect that many people bring up, because it seems that this aspect can add more or less suffering to cancer. Obviously, those who are mothers will worry about how their children will live and feel about their illness. But those who do not have children also worry about their partner, mother, father, siblings and all those close to them who live and suffer with them.

Most everyone does not know what to say when they meet a woman who is suffering from breast cancer. We tell you what phrases can be unfortunate, taking into account that each cancer and each woman is a world and there is no manual of "exemplary behavior".

Before their diagnosis, many women going through breast cancer treatment or recovery confess that they would not have known what to say to a friend or family member in that situation either. Is not easy. We know that the intention is to convey support and understanding. But the right words are not always found.

Awkward situation

Unfortunately, it is increasingly common to find someone who is going through this difficult stage. The most advisable thing is to be natural and not fall into topics that may be uncomfortable for the other person. The phrases we have selected are very common and the vast majority can be unfortunate if you do not take into account what this cancer patient is like and what she is experiencing. Each woman is different: she has her personality and her circumstances surround her. And each breast cancer is different: there are more advanced ones that require mastectomy and tough chemotherapy sessions; and, fortunately, others that are overcome with radiotherapy and preventive medicinal treatment.

If you have confidence with the person, no problem. It is very possible that she will open up and respond to your questions and comments without drama. But if you do not know her very well or know what state her disease is in, the best thing to do is be cautious.

Sometimes words are unnecessary

After reading the sentences, you might think what then? Better not to say anything? Nor is it the solution. Even if you understand people's attitude, that it is normal that they do not know how to react, it is uncomfortable for them to avoid you. Cancer is not contagious . I say it in the first person, because I am about to celebrate my fourth anniversary since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. After the intervention, fortunately I have been passing all the controls and reviews, without there being a trace of cancer in analytics or mammograms. Great news. But, yes, I remember the first reactions of those around me when they found out about my situation and, I repeat, it is not easy.

From my experience, condescension doesn't help much - "Huuuy, poor thing!" - nor misunderstood empathy - "Oh my God, I don't know what I'd do if it happened to me!" If you feel like talking and venting, you choose the moment and the person with whom to do it. If not, a hug is enough, someone will hold your hands for a few seconds and look you in the eyes with a serene smile. A sincere, supportive gesture that conveys to you that the other person "is there" makes words stand out.