If we asked you to name your iconic moment from 2016, which one would you choose? What event or situation had the greatest impact on your life? It is very likely that you will find the answer easily. But instead, if we ask you which habit or part of your current routine is a daily achievement for which you should congratulate yourself, it would take time to find the answer.
This is because we take weight off the daily routine and stop thanking each other for our day-to-day efforts, because they are common or part of an obligation. Today we are going to give it its value. This is your annual balance of learnings and facts for which to value yourself.
What new habits have you incorporated this year?
It can be something as simple as a change in your diet, the way you talk about yourself, how you stopped judging yourself, or the way you relate to or organize your schedule. Those "trifles" are to congratulate you. Improvements are made day by day. You don't need to have been awarded an international award for a scientific achievement to give visibility to your progress. Think about it and right now do the exercise of seeing how you have improved this year and congratulate yourself on it.
Obviously, there will be habits that you have not yet managed to change and that this year you do intend to do so. Now is the time. It's not about making empty promises or blaming yourself. Believing is power, and doing it is easier than you think. Think that one day this challenge that you now face for 2017 and that seems impossible to you will be so daily that you will forget to congratulate yourself on it. Make a list of the habits that you have managed to change in 2016 and those that you want to achieve in 2017.
What have been your best moments in 2016?
Try to mentally create a video or photo collage that shows the moments you enjoyed the most from your year. Who is there? What was it that allowed you to enjoy the moment? What did you do? What did you feel? Think about the things that made you laugh the most or feel emotional or physical pleasure. Of course, the encounters with the couple count, but also make a count of the moments of extreme peace with yourself or those afternoons that you could scratch at the time to read and relax without more.
Thank each moment and, if you can, each person for those shared laughter, those kisses or that complicity. You will see that you are surrounded by authentic wealth. And, yes, congratulate yourself for allowing yourself to enjoy and open yourself to those experiences. Not all learning should come from painful situations, we can also extract it from those moments when we say “Wow! All this I have and enjoy, thank you! ”.
And now commit to continue nurturing those relationships with the people who have shared the good times with you. Guide your new year to give space to the people, activities and experiences that make you feel good.
What have you given up on?
Giving up or giving up something by choice are two difficult things to differentiate. It takes a lot of objectivity. But now nobody judges you. Think, what did you leave out of fear or lack of desire? Did inertia win you over? Think about it, but don't blame yourself, guilt is the most useless.
Maybe you can pick it up or just clarify what led you to it and accept it. If it has been out of fear of the new or changing your lifestyle, admit it. It is the only way not to repeat it. The prize that you will give yourself will be that you accept it and you set out to not repeat it.
What fear have you overcome?
If your legs were shaking from talking about a certain topic but in the end you did, or if you were afraid to ask for a loan, move to another apartment or make a change in your work or family life, but you did, congratulations! You already have it, you know what you have to do to overcome fear.
Now this experience is your tool, so use it to overcome other fears that are sure to nest there and have not let you advance in a particular field. At the end of 2017 you will have a longer list of defeated fears thanks to this experience gained. And that's what it's all about.
Have you analyzed how you solved your problems this year?
We all find it easier to remember complex moments than happy ones, so you will find many of the former. The question is to see how you solved them. All the ways are valid, as long as they do not include running away, because escaping is not solving, violence, manipulation or lying. Even if the matter has not been resolved as you expected, it is important that you are aware of how you lived the process, regardless of the outcome. And give yourself a big round of applause for it.
You came out of that, but if you could now redesign your strategies, would you give it another solution? Would you live it in another way? Maybe you could have saved yourself upset or not taken it so seriously. We all have the capacity to improve our way of negotiating, reacting or adopting agreements. So think about what you learned from your way of solving problems and how you can improve.
What have you managed to close? Who have you let go?
Letting go of a person who no longer fits in our life, leaving a situation or accepting a change that is imposed on us - such as being fired from a job - is to congratulate ourselves. Closing a cycle does not necessarily mean ending a relationship: you may have changed the way you relate to your mother (no fights, no blame), but that does not mean that you stop seeing her. In a relationship, change does not depend on isolating yourself from the person or expecting them to change, but on you, your perception of them and how you let them affect you. Even unintended changes, like a layoff, bring a huge load of new knowledge about yourself and remind you of your power to adapt.
Who have you forgiven in 2016?
In the same way that you have closed cycles, surely this year you have also forgiven. Who you forgive may or may not find out that you have done it, perhaps they did not even ask you; but choosing to do so is a relief to you. Taking all the emotional charge from a person or an event is a liberating force. When we forgive, we also forgive ourselves for having allowed ourselves to feel that resentment, or even hatred; and we forgive the beliefs that led us to that situation. It is like an internal cleaning. With all your compassion, forgive yourself also for what still chains you. Use that power for what you still blame yourself for and forgive all the beliefs, ideas or affirmations that you repeat yourself and that nothing builds. Do it and keep clapping.
What or to whom has life brought you and to whom have you said goodbye?
What is there in your life now that was not there before 2016? No matter how your year has been, surely there are new elements or people. And they are because you thought you could have them with you. New partner? A new member in your family? Or new friends? Leave a space on your list to say thank you for them. And be grateful for those who remain, for your family and for those friends that you know are around for a long time.
Have you said goodbye to someone? It hurts, but she is also grateful for those who left, either because it was time to evolve in separate ways or because they left this life. What has this taught you? Very simple. The only permanent thing is change and people are only in our lives long enough to fulfill the lesson: to learn from each other. And they only arrive when we are ready to receive them.
To close your list and take stock of 2016, think of a time when, if you had not lived it, you would not be who you are. If it hadn't happened, as bitter as it was, who would you be now? Thank yourself for who you are, and happy new year.
